So, Sidekick turned three a few weeks back, no big party this year, just a quiet celebration with my parents..
One hears about the "terrible two" from the parenthood fables..It's only when speaking with an "in real life" parent that one learns that, oh no, the twos are a cinch, just WAIT until the "threes" happen..So I did, I waited and well well well, what do ya know..They were right..The Threes (and late twos) have been a CHALLENGE to say the least. So, the terrible tows, not so terrible. The threes?!??! Let's call them the "terrifying threes"..
Ok, so Sidekick is pretty deep into the terrifying threes (but I love him so, blah blah blah), and guess who decided that this would be a good time to get divorced? Right, that would be me..Sidekick's dad (let's call him S) and I have been separated for over a year and (fingers crossed) will be officially divorced in the next few weeks..So, that means that I have been swimming in the single mommy waters for some time now..But, holy cheesecake, I was not expecting some of the crazy sauce behavior that I have witnessed as of late.
And the worst part of that is there is no one there to whom I can hand Sidekick when he is doing his demon child act..It's me and him, him and I...
It is SO important that I keep my cool when he is throwing a fit over God knows what..I'm IT, in that moment..Wow, talk about the pressure. I feel resentful sometimes that I am on my own..Then it dawns on me, I was alone 80% of the time once Sidekick was born, so it's not like I would have help from S anyhow. Take last night for example..Monday night for men (straight men anyhow) means MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL..So, S would not have been home for the epic meltdown Sidekick had..I was on my own last night and would have been had I stayed married..
Being a single mom is daunting and honestly, a bit scarey. I worry that I don't stay as calm as I should sometimes or that Sidekick is missing out on the organic "family'..But, I divorced S for many reasons and have not looked back. I have been accused of "breaking up a family" and that hurts, but I know it was and will continue to be for the best..So, I am on the terrifying three thrill ride, I suppose I should strap myself in..
xo
Your last paragraph. So true. I hope my kids enter adulthood not too damaged by all of this. But I know it was the right choice. And I was basically a single mom most of the time before anyway. Now it's actually better, because ex has the kids on his days and has learned how to be a dad. They have a much better relationship with him now!
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