The holidays are upon us and I wanted to post something festive and NOT controversial - so - please all of you cynics out there - (in the words of Elton John) Step into Christmas with me..
12 Days of Christmas
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Twelve drummers drumming, (yikes - that is so loud! why not 12 pianists softly piano-ing?)
Eleven pipers piping, (again, could be loud - but nice, I'm sure...maybe 11 sets of earplugs)
Ten lords a-leaping, (leaping? as in jumping? They might get hurt, better make them tiptoe, or at least make sure they are leaping on a padded floor, maybe giant yoga mats)
Nine ladies dancing, (OK - something I can relate to - I hope they are my friends tho, would hate to get 9 random ladies dancing...and am I allowed to join them? SO maybe there should only be 8)
Eight maids a-milking, (maids? milking what? OK, how about pouring milk? Maybe some soymilk into my coffee? I feel like some days I could drink 8 cups of coffee)
Seven swans a-swimming, (In this weather? How about seals? They do well in the cold and they are cute too)
Six geese a-laying, (Hmm, I hope they are laying eggs, Cause geese poo is impossible to get out of your shoe!)
Five golden rings, (OK, something else I can relate too, might they be encrusted with jewels too?)
Four calling birds, (Who are they calling? Don't they tweet? or text? or sing? How about 4 texting birds)
Three French hens, (Whats wrong with American hens? This song is un-American - clearly written by a Communist)
Two turtledoves, (No more birds! Ill take 2 turtle necks in this weather!)
And a partridge in a pear tree!( Hmmm...Well, I had a pear tree in the yard of my previous home until it was struck by lightning - and I did used to LOVE going to the Partridge Pub..So, I will take this homage to my past from my true love....) But I still have no idea what to do with it...Any ideas?
